Ok let me begin by saying...kon'nichi wa, watashi wa chris desu. Hajimemashite. Dozo Yoroshiku...yes that's right I started Japanese lessons last night :) that *should* be right, but i'm not sure...I am doing it from memory...and my memory's shite :)

Secondly i'd like to point everyone in the direction of the new Hellboy trailer (WOO!) go here:
http://www.empireonline.co.uk/site/trailers/trailer.asp?film_id=9788
and go ooooohhhhh at how great it looks :)

Right then now we've got those pleasantries out of the way let's get onto today's rant...and what a rant it is...oh yes! Now then as you should all know by now i'm a graphic designer and I have to deal with lots of businessy types...you know, middle managers, account managers, marketing managers, promotions managers...in fact just managers in general (oh to deal with *anyone* with real decision making power...*sigh* I can but dream) which is unpleasant enough as it is, after all being told how to do your job by someone who not only knows nothing about your industry, but apparently finds 'high-brow' technical concepts like plugging computers in at the wall, NOT repeatedly deleting critical system resources, remembering not to delete 3 months worth of work off the server the night before it's needed, saving work BEFORE you close it and spelling words like 'and' intensely challenging (and yes, I have had to deal with ALL of these before...most by the same person...the mind boggles!), but aside from all these jolly little 'features' (what? that's what Microsoft(arse) call the bits of their software that don't work as intended and are just intensely annoying...isn't that what 'feature' means?) of their personalities they have to go and be extra special and do one of the few things that winds me up beyond anything else...and that is?...the use of buzzwords.

Yes that's right, idiotic nonsensical phrases that people with absolutely *nothing* worthwhile to contribute to, well anything really, can throw into conversations in a vain attempt to sound dynamic or clever or perhaps just anything other than the drooling retards that they are...it doesn't work of course...it just really fucking annoys poor bastards like me who have to listen to endless streams of verbal effluent like 'sideways thinking', 'what's our USP', 'we need to proactively add value whilst dynamically diversifying our core principles' or old classics like 'let's think outside the box', or a classic someone once said to me at Microsoft(arse) "let's take this conversation offline!" WHAT!...*sigh* finding the strength to NOT actually gouge people's eyeballs out when they start spouting this drivel is quite a challenge...I find that an acerbic inner-monologue helps massively...but it's still tricky :)

I think part of what drives me up the wall with all this shit is the fact that the people saying it think that they're *so* important they can't waste time by speaking in english...nooooooo...they wouldn't say "oh, just so you know", nope that wastes far too many valuable nanoseconds for someone as important as them, so they'll say "FYI" instead...and abbreviate people's names down to the first letter...and "diarise" something instead of "writing it down in the diary"...GAH! Stop it! Stop it now! you're not important...you're nobody and saving 1/3 of a second by talking like a cock isn't doing you any favours!...besides, what *exactly* do you do with all your extra time? get confused by the stapler? get lost on the way to the bathroom? open up yet another virus ridden email? no I think everyone would feel a lot safer if you'd all just lock yourselves in your offices and promise not to touch anything...or go anywhere...or speak...except to each other...as I said before, I can but dream :)