Aaaaahhhhh today we come to a subject that's very dear to me...you could say it was very close to my heart (and by 'close to my heart' I *actually* mean close to the cold hard ball of incandescent rage that constantly teeters on the brink of boiling over and exploding in a volcanic eruption of anger of biblical proportions!...which is two doors down on the left from my heart :)) and that subject is?...road manners.

Now the particular set of individuals i'm targeting here isn't other drivers...nope...whilst I do agree that a not insignificant number of drivers have *woeful* road manners...and they do, oh yes...however, compared to the people today's rant is aimed at they are akin to sinless angels of the road :) so who am I after today? well if i were to mention that I live in Cambridge that might give you a clue...any ideas?...yes that's right...cyclists.

Now I know that there must be *some* cyclists in the world who have spared the highway code more than a cursory glance...although they probably wouldn't be able to see it very well from all the way up their on their high-horse...and i'm sure there must be some of their number with at least a tiny glimmering speck of sense...but i've never seen any of them :) and I for one am sick and fucking tired of hearing some tree-hugging sandal wearing cyclist wanker bitch on about 'evil car users' and their lack of respect for cyclists...of course this is the same cyclist who'll quite happily swerve all over the road without any signals, cut people up, run red lights and generally act like an irresponsible prick...then when someone has to take emergency measures to avoid hitting him after he's made yet another unsignalled and unexpected manouvre he'll no doubt have the gall to start screaming and shouting about people paying attention and how dare you try to use the same piece of road as him? he's a cyclist for god's sake and they are, apparently, the blessed love children of all roads...therefore transcending any rules or regulations that they don't feel like paying attention to that day, and heaven help you (you poor fool) if you happen to get in their way...oh yes...you can be prepared for a tirade of great length and vehemance then, where strangely enough they can remember, and quote, an untold amount of rules from the Highway Code...yes the same Highway Code that they ignore so much of :)

I have a solution to this vastly irritating problem...picture this, you're driving along a normal city road...doing the speed limit...paying attention to everything around you...driving with care...when all of a sudden a car swerves dangerously out of a side street and starts tailgating you...after weaving all over the road with no apparent care for anyone else he makes a dangerous overtaking move directly into oncoming traffic expecting you to move out of the way...given no time to react to any of this lunatics unpredictable decisions you, unfortunately, hit him...now who's fault was that? clearly the other driver yes? and would you get into trouble for hitting him? no, it was all his fault and someone driving like that would get run into sooner or later...I think we should apply the same rule to cyclists...remove their 'invisible cloak of protection' and make it legal to run anyone over who's acting like a dick...and i'll tell you what, they'd all stop fucking around then wouldn't they ;)

Yeah...that'd fucking learn 'em!