Hello :)

Now then, where to begin, those that have spared this site more than a cursory glance (no-one then) will know that i'm not a big fan of the unadulterated drivel that, via our TV's, dulls the brains of the nations proletariat...as a general rule I avoid the television (apart from cartoons of course) as anything I want to watch is either a film (which i'll have on DVD anyway) or a repeat, but even to someone like me who stays away from the hateful arena of primetime programming can't fail to notice what's been happening over the last few years. TV spods bored of actually having to *think* of anything interesting/worthwhile/entertaining to fill in the gaps of their 70's sitcom ridden schedules were at a loss as to what to do next until one of their number came up with the perfect caper.

Picture the scene...in a lavishly decorated corporate meeting room a small group of TV's brightest stars reach the, hitherto unheard of, 145th minute of their meeting...*seriously* flagging now they continue to bandy the same hackneyed ideas that have been their mainstay for the last 20 years around the room but to no avail! the big boss man won't have any of it! he's insisting that 'the public' are sick of seeing Nicky fucking Campbell spin his wheel or Noel fucking Edmonds and his stupid sodding house party...they need something new, something different, something real!...in a childish hissy fit one of them finally blurts out 'well if these fucking commoners know so much about light entertainment let's just film the bastards and see what happens'...the room goes still, everyone stops to consider it for a moment...the big boss seems interested 'y'know, that could work, but.....noooo they'd never fall for it, no-one's *that* stupid'...someone pipes up 'have you got any better ideas?'...faced with the frankly untenable situation of the meeting reaching the 3rd hour and the even more horrifying thought of actually having to do something original the whole room launches into a frenzy of creativity and epoch-making ideas which last for, literally, 3 whole minutes!...finished and satisfied a loud 'Hurrah!' reverberates throughout the room and they all race down to their Posches and Bentleys, eager to get to the South of France for the 8 months holiday they have so justly deserved!...and thus!, was the 'fly on the wall' documentary and the 'reality' TV show born!

So here we are today, in a world where lazy TV execs just point a camera at *yet another* witless retard and watch him do something profoundly stupid as the nation sits and watches impassively...talentless drones entertained by talentless drones...how ironic. But that's the genius part, they don't have to have *any* skill/talent/charisma/intellect for these shows to work...in fact the worse they are the better it gets...'cos then everyone will watch to see *exactly* how bad it is! AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH!

And these are just the shows where minimal effort is required...now, in an effort to flog just a bit more life out of a dead idea, just pointing a camera at them and waiting for stupidity isn't enough...no no no, some TV genius has upped the bar now and started putting these poor idiots directly into situations where it's not a possibility that they'll have a fight or do something stupid it's an absolute fucking *certainty*...and everyone's still watching! WHY! If I want to watch morons make tits out of themselves I can just wander around town for a while, go to the skate ramp thing and watch people fall over, go to the pub and watch people drink till they fall over, erm...kick people in the back and watch them fall over (joke!). I'm not really sure where i'm going with this but it's been inspired by hearing people bang on about 'I'm a celebrity get me out of here' all fucking week...for god's sake people it's SHIT! the contestants are desperate Z-list minor celbs that have been winnowed out of the public eye *because* they're crap...all you're doing is giving them another chance to annoy the fuck out of everyone with more tabloid 'revelations' and TV-movies and specials about 'how they made it' and fucking book deals and fucking interviews with fucking Michael fucking Parkinson...FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAKE IT STOP!

*sigh* i'll just be quiet now, apologies to all...got a bit carried away for a moment there...so then...anything good on telly tonight? ;)