So then, as I so eloquently put it yesterday "the *true* crowning achievement of phone hell"...what is it? It is, of course, callcentres :) now let me make one thing clear here, when I say 'callcentres' i'm not referring to the ones that you actually call yourself...the ones where *you* specifically need to know something and call them for help...no...although don't think that that lets them off, not a bit of it! we all know they're uniformly shite, remarkable only in their utter terribleness...but even these paragons of crap are thoroughly eclipsed by the hellishly godawful nightmares that are...cold call callcentres!...AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!

Im partially convinced that it's all a government plot to keep unemployment figures down...simply throw all the unemployed into a false industry of unskilled work that requires little, if any, training, with relatively low overheads (after all how much can a room full of phones cost) and has a constantly available workforce so employee turnover can be as high as they like...bastards! And what do they offer? well...that's the clincher...nothing really, every single one of them seems to be offering "ways for me to save up to 50% on my phone/gas/electricity/water bills!" and, were I to take that literally, merely talking to each one of these people would reduce all of my bills to 0 within an afternoon! You see I don't have a problem with these things, I don't have a problem with the people working there (after all they're only doing a job), I don't even have a problem with the fact that they're selling nothing!...but what I DO have a problem with is having to talk to 50 of them every day...they're wasting my fucking time and I swear i'm going to start invoicing these utter cunts for the hours I waste talking to them...would they keep calling if they were charged £60 an hour for the privelige I wonder?

I don't want to be rude...I really don't...I *know* that it's no-one's fault in particular that I get these calls all the time but they're like the telephonic version of a Terminator....they absolutely WILL NOT stop fucking calling, and some of them are very very persistent (especially the ones calling from India on behalf of BT who I can't understand as they can't speak English...but that's a rant for another day) which, unfortunately, means I have to let go of my manners, politeness and decorum and just tell them to fuck off and NEVER, under any circumstances, call me again (it's at times like that when I wish that I had the insulting capability of Melvin Udall from As Good As It Gets...genius!). So if any callcentre types are reading this then please take pity on a harried soul and never call me again...i'm begging you...i'm on my knees and everything...failing that I suppose i'll just have to set you all on fire or something, what?, well you can't say you weren't warned ;)