Hello there :) ...now onto part 2 of Chris' weekend of fun...PSYCHO HOSE BEAST ATTACKS!

To fully explain this we'll have to go back to Friday night (ooooohhh time travel...Einstein-Rosen Bridgetastic!) at Journeys...Doug was playing his set and some randomer kept asking Barney (every 5 minutes or so apparently) who that was and when his set was going to finish...which is a fairly clear indication that she was after a bit of young Doug :)...anyway, Doug finished his set and ended up chattering away to her for a while and said 'she seemed like an alright girl' (funny how first impressions can be COMPLETELY wrong eh?)...ok then, move forward to Saturday afternoon, Me, my Sister, Doug and Barney are in the pub and who should wander in but the randomer...she strides over to our table and sits down, makes the briefest of introductions (I can't remember her name so from now on she will be referred to as either 'pikey', 'twatbadger' or 'pissflaps') and proceeds to hijack our conversation by regaling us with the most thick-witted, uninteresting and downright bizarre tales of her night before she wanders off again...mainly due to the fact that we all started ignoring her (hehehehe)...but she left a lasting impression of a complete and utter loony. Forward again to Sunday afternoon, all of our other club companions have now fallen by the wayside and it's just myself and Doug...at something of a loose end we go back to the pub again for a game of pool...as we're waiting for some friends to arrive twatbadger strides in again and seats herself at our table...now up until this point she'd been weird but not overly irritating...that then changed, and we were all treated to an afternoon with THE rudest, most impolite, obnoxious, uncouth, arrogant, stupid, smelly little fucktard I have EVER had the misfortune to meet...why? ok here's a few highlights:

1 - Foisted herself off on a closeknit group of people whom she knew none of.
2 - Talked...at great length...about herself, often talking over other people who were trying to have conversations that involved some degree of intelligence and weren't just drivel like "I shagged my best mates boyfriend last night, feel a bit shit but fuck it eh?"...hhhmmmm yes well why exactly should I care?
3 - Came out without any money and expected us to buy her drinks, give her fags and later on buy her dinner!...really...she sat down with us as we were ordering food, snatched a menu off someone and started loudly recounting everyone with what she wanted!...no please, no thank you, just a demand...i'll point out now that she got absolutely NOTHING from me, she was getting right on my nerves from the start and if it were up to me she would have sat there with nothing until she fucked off...i'll be generous to people I know but I flat out refuse to pay for some lazy, grubby little pikey's food and drink.
4 - Eat like an absolute fucking animal...I mean really bad...eat with her fingers, picked at her food, chewed noisily with her mouth open and belched all the time (now that comment may come as something of a surprise to anyone who knows either myself or Doug as we both find it incredibly amusing to belch thunderously...but when we do it, we do it with style...she had no panache, and was merely offensive).
5 - Was very loud, outspoken and opinionated...which in itself is fine, provided that you have something worthwhile to comment on and/or the slightest hint of intelligence...she had neither.

I could go on but we'd be here all day and I think you get the picture from that. Now bearing in mind that the 5 of us who were having to put up with this grubby, unwashed little toerag are all unwaveringly polite people who, without HUGE justification, would never dream of insulting anyone...I think it should be indicative of how fucking awful she was when I say that we all insulted her...pointedly...to her face (I asked whether she was always this fucking obnoxious AND called her a fucking commoner...and I was being very kind)...I don't know whether she just ignored us all or whether she really was too stupid to realise she was being insulted...I don't care really, she left soon after and I fervently hope I will never run into that little pissflap ever again.

If she's reading this (hahahahaha yeah right) here's a message...consider yourself insulted you twat, learn some fucking manners or DON'T interact with other people...cunt

PS. Sorry about all the swearing mum...couldn't help myself ;)