4 - Fear

So why on earth is this ominously titled subject included in my post-holiday musings? Well that'll be due to the fact that I went for a brief swim when I was on holiday...aaaaaahhhhhh it all falls into place now eh :) Yep that's right, not only did I go swimming on holiday...it was in the sea no less!...twice!...I know, I know, i'm a daredevil beyond compare...but even brave souls like me with nerves of steel (pfff!) get scared from time to time you know...otherwise i'd just be *too* perfect non?

So there I am...bravely going into the water...home to one of my primal fears (and I don't care *how* likely it is for one of the evil bastard S words to be swimming about in the Med, as far as evil bastard S words are concerned I keep my options simple - dry land = no evil bastard S words = good. Water = evil bastard S words = legs bitten off by merciless unseen underwater monster straight from my darkest nightmares = bad.) and at first everything's cool (this is when the water's ankle deep), I actually wade out properly and start swimming and, for a moment, remember that this swimming lark isn't so bad after all...then I go a bit further out and can no longer see the happy comforting sight of the seabed...I can only see...well...nothing...just lots of murky shadow which, due to the fear that's now rising velociously within me, all look *exactly* like huge evil bastard S words coming to bite my legs off...it's at this moment, of course, when some innocuous piece of flotsam brushes against my leg and the complete and utter soul freezing terror sets in...swiftly followed by panic...of course by this time i'm madly floundering my way shorewards again, I've now lost what bare minimum of swimming composure I had and each limb is moving of it's own panic stricken volition, pinwheeling randomly with no consideration of orchestrated movement (that would of course get me to shore quicker), nope, it's every limb for itself now! I eventually reach wading depth again and glance behind me, fully expecting to see the hellish maw of this ungodly creature rising up behind me to relieve me of my legs...but instead I see the completely tranquil, calm and utterly evil bastard S word-less sea...as well as the crowd on snickering onlookers of course...*sigh*...fuck ;)