It is a commonly stated fact that quite often the little things in life are the best...the smell of mornings in spring, falling asleep with someone you're completely comfortable with, finding 10p (or a million euros :P) down the back of the sofa, putting in a sneaky last second bid on Ebay and winning something you *really* wanted, watching obnoxious people fall over...all seemingly inconsequential little occurances that just make you feel *far* happier than they really should. But it is a slightly less stated fact that the opposite of this holds equally true...the little things in life can be the worst too (aaahhhhh you all thought i'd gone soft and all lovey-dovey or something then didn't you...tsk...you should know better by now ;))...people slowly ambling along in front of you when you're in a hurry, post offices that either have 16 members of staff serving when there's only one person in the post office or 1 person serving when there's a queue snaking back and forth across the room and out the door, having someone put a sneaky last second bid in on Ebay and stealing something you *really* wanted from right under your nose :) but these are all minor irritations to this next one...it's something that never fails to make me go from 0 - Apoplectic Rage in 1 nanosecond...it's probably going to be the thing that one day sends me over the edge...and it is? ...*pause for dramatic effect*...it is when you sit down and all the change falls out of your pockets! Gnfnffff!

Now this is something that is gender specific i'm afraid...girls just don't suffer this problem as they don't have pockets, if they need to carry anything around they either use a pathetic little bag thing or use their magic girly pockets (no! not there!...eeewwww...filthy minded individuals the lot of you!) otherwise known as the hapless boyfriend :) so girls are blissfully unaware of this nightmarish problem and are free to hurl themselves into chairs with reckless abandon (bitches!)...it's like periods, boys have absolutely no frame of reference for that either so we just can't understand what all the fuss is about and trying to explain *why* it's so terrible just doesn't work when you're faced with a sceptical member of the opposite sex who's come to the conversation armed with a full battery of knowing grins, sarcastic eyebrows and condescending shoulder pats...so yes, girls have periods, boys have change that falls out of their pockets every time they sit down (the girls got the better deal I reckon! I mean they only have to put up with it once a month eh?)...and girls, you have no idea just how *intensely* frustrating it is to have every, supposedly restful, reclining motion accompanied by the jarring *tchshhing!* sound which signals that, yet again, all of your pocket change has poured out of your pockets...it...is...fucking...maddening!

You may all laugh this off as a stupid inconsequential little thing but cast your eyes back to the first paragraph, dear reader, and take into account that that is *exactly* what I said...stupid little inconsequential things...they defy all reason...defy any logic...and make you want to kill something! As Donkey says in Shrek "i'm going to need some therapy after this...look, my eye's twitching and everything!"...indeed ;)