Today's subject is back onto one of my favourite little pet-hates...the client...not to say that *all* clients are bad ones of course, I do have on or two clients that I actually really like dealing with, but they are unfortunately few and far between and what you're normally saddled with is the traditional idiotic, demanding, skinflint twat that is a client! But my rant today isn't about clients...no...it's about one of their irritating little habits...which is the often cavernous gulf between what you actually say...and what they *think* you've said :)

I think it's easiest if I were to go into this by means of an anecdote...something that happened quite recently actually, but don't worry names have been changed to protect the innocent (ie. me) and the retarded (ie. the client) ;). It's a normal busy day for the debonair, genius young designer who, for the purposes of this story, we shall call Chris (good name that) when in walks a grotty, dishevelled looking man with a peculiar look about him...if you were being generous you wouldn't say he was ugly...but i'm not generous and his propensity for unintentional drooling can't be ignored...so he's ugly :P we shall refer to him as Twat...so basically Twat wants some business cards...Chris tells him the price for 100 standard cards (£45) Twat hears this, then says that he wants his cards to be round edged, have gold foil etching on them, embossing, matt laminate, spot varnish AND be on a much thicker card than usual...Chris advises him that this is all possible but will cost significantly more as it'll be a specialist job and, since he wants such a small quantity, they'll basically have to be hand made! Twat hears this...but chooses not to listen...cue weeks of torturous arsing about on his wanky artwork with a million piffly changes to his own text when we wants to start adding special Pantone colours for one word! I advise him that this is going to put costs through the roof and receive the reply "what...will it be more than the £45 you told me it'd cost?"...I try to control my temper and politely point out that that price was for bog standard cards NOT these cards...Mr. Twat proceeds to throw his toys out the pram and get stroppy because he's been a complete and utter retard, wasted my time, wasted the printers time and, ultimately, wasted far too much oxygen that could've been used by people with far more worth than him...*sigh*

So there you have it...clients who only listen to what they want to hear and selectively edit all the warnings they're given until it gets to crunch time and what they were warned about actually happens...fuck I hate you all :P