Age...it's a peculiar thing isn't it? When you're young you want to be old, when you're old you want to be young (i'm not going to delve into that particular facet of age too deeply here though...i'll go into it more thoroughly when I discuss my theory on the universe being female...oh I bet you can hardly wait eh?) and you'll do anything to be seen as either 'grown-up' or 'a big kid' dependant on which end of the age scale you're on :) but that's not our subject today...nope...although our subject is linked to age (otherwise it'd be pretty bloody stupid of me to start rambling on about age without it being related to today's actual topic of ranting) or more specifically to aging...even more specifically it's about the 'special skills' you develop as you get older and the many interesting ways you can abuse your newfound powers to irritate those grubby little youngsters...hehehehehe :)

Yes as you get older and you notice little things like physical fitness, hearing, eyesight, pert breasts (joking...mine are still lovely thanks) failing you'll find a handy new set of abilities to replace them! Nothing major you understand...well not at first anyway...I mean i'm not really old (i'm NOT you bastards!) and i'm starting to notice them...I have developed an increased aptitude for moaning about 'my poor back' after a night out...my super ability to sit on the couch drinking soft drinks and watching telly instead of going out has increased exponentially!...but best of all is the ability to have a sage answer to any given situation that makes me sound either wise or dead clever ...I am, of course, neither :) but I seem to have magically grown this wonderful skill of having either an anecdote or glib comment available to handily encompass any given situation...'tis great...certainly impresses the young 'uns, makes me sound like a herald of sound advice...either that or an opinionated shitbag who's got an intensely irritating comment for everything...depends entirely on your perspective I suppose :)