I went to see 'Shaun of the Dead' at the weekend...excellent film, if you like 'Spaced' you'll love this film :) ...but after watching it it set me wondering 'what would I do in the event of a zombie holocaust?'...well, for a start i'd have an *obvious* advantage over everyone else what with my extensive Quake 3 Arena experience and all :) but in the highly likely event that there are NO rocket launchers, plasma rifles or rail guns casually strewn about the streets of Cambridge I would have to resort to the same thing as everyone else...a sound strategy...oh dear :)

Now as far as I can see a good anti-zombie strategy consists of 3 things:
1 - Don't Panic (wise words, after all they were printed on a certain book's cover eh :))
2 - Weaponry.
3 - Somewhere safe to hide till the whole thing blows over ;)

In most zombie films these 3 simple points are either ignored or executed badly :) the first thing to go is normally point one...everyone panics of course (not that i'm criticising you understand, i'm merely pointing out a fact...obviously I can't comment on how i'd react as a zombie holocaust is fortunately something i've never experienced...as anyone who knows me will attest though I am something of a big girls blouse :) and would probably be amongst the first to start shrieking like Ned Flanders and making his new found comrades wonder whether it'd just be safer to leave me as live bait or something)...so after sufficient waving of arms and whatnot everyone calms down and decides to arm themselves...but they always pick something inherently shit...yes guns are all well and good but they do run out of bullets (and i'm sorry *anyone* who would be stupid enough to arm themselves with a shotgun or something equally cretinous deserves to be eaten alive quite frankly) and then what do they have? a club or something equally stupid...why does no-one ever go for the sensible option of a lovely big sword? (this choice *may* have something to do with my strange fascination of all things swordlike or it may not...I think it's a great idea...I suppose I might reconsider as the zombie hoard feasts on my innards but I doubt it...i'm stubborn :))...and finally we have the safe refuge...which, in nearly every zombie film, turns out to be on the ground floor...*sigh* honestly have none of these people ever heard of the battle at Thermopylae?...for those of you who haven't :) this was the battle between the huge Persian army and the Tiny Greek army...200,000 troops against 7,000!...but since the Greeks picked the narrow pass at Thermopylae to do battle with the Persians, their army was able to hold out against the massive persian force for days inflicting massive losses on them...of course all the Greeks were eventually slaughtered but that's beside the point :) which is...when faced with a numerically superior force (ie. shedloads of zombies) choose a fighting ground where their numbers won't matter...now there's only one zombie film i've seen where someone is smart enough to think of this (28 days later) and most zombie film characters seem happy with the prospect of facing the undead hordes on an equal footing...retards!

Anyone else have any opinions on this? feel like pointing out any gross inaccuracies on my part? feel free...the email link's down there on your left...if I get any really good suggestions I *may* give someone a freebie from the 'Daily Thing' store ;)