Today's subject is sort of a continuation of yesterday's...although it's the exact opposite...confused? Allow me to explain...yesterday I told you about a dream I had on Saturday night...now if I were to say that Saturday night was the last time I slept would that give you a hint as to today's subject? Aaahhhhh of course, we're onto Insomnia again :)

Yes that's right no sleep for me *again* last night so I thought i'd take the opportunity to share the process with all of you fortunate people today (bastards!)...you see, unlike you lot, I am most certainly not 'asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow'...nope...that's never happened to me...no, I am unfortunately still wide awake when my head hits the pillow...and tend to stay that way...laying there in the dark trying to relax and staying resolutely lucid...it's quite a depressing thing insomnia, there's no feeling in the world like laying there desperately trying to get some sleep and seeing the clock seemingly leap forward in 30 minute increments to the time you've got to wake up...and, of course, as soon as you start thinking 'well, I might as well get up now' that's when you slip into a coma-like sleep that lasts for a massive 20 minutes or so and makes you feel 10 times worse when you are woken up by the alarm. And then comes the day (or days in my case) afterwards...the strange feeling of detachment and unreality, the odd way that, as time between sleep progresses, all of the colour leeches out of everything...the depiction of Insomnia in Fight Club is actually quite accurate...it's not too bad after the first day or so but from day 2 onwards everything feels slightly unreal...it's not pleasant.

But as good as the Insomnia parts of Fight Club were there's one particularly evil aspect of Insomnia that it never mentions...the confusion...on the rare occassions that I do actually manage to relax enough to go to sleep I sometimes won't quite make it, it's then that I go into a bizarre limbo between being awake and asleep (im sure other people do this too) where absolutely nothing makes sense and the strangest things can seem of utmost importance...the only way I can really explain it is you know how disoriented and confused you feel when you wake up sometimes? well like that...all night...as you can imagine it's not particularly pleasant.

So what do I do to cure this you may ask? Well i've tried all the 'helpful' hints that people always come out with...Cutting down on caffeine (doesn't work...tried it before, currently trying it again...have yet to notice any difference), Establish a set pattern before you go to bed at night (doesn't work, tried for years...still trying), Drink a milky drink (Always have done, it's nice 'cos I like milk...but, again, useless), Read? (again, always have done...I read for about 3 hours a night before I even consider going to sleep...doesn't work), Medication? (hhhmmmmm no thanks, i'm bad enough sleeping now...I really don't want to get it set in my head that I NEED medication to sleep)...doctors are always very helpful too...I think the best result I have ever got from a doctor was to be given a pamphlet that listed the 'remedies' above...one doctor helpfully remarked that 'I just needed to get some sleep' hhhmmmm yes well thanks doc. and is your advice to amputees that they should just go for a walk?

Dreadfully sorry about the gloomy overtones to today's post chaps but i'm not in the best of moods today. I shall endeavour to be more witty/entertaining tomorrow :)