Ya Mum!...:)...no i'm not being offensive, well no more than I am by my mere existence anyway, but that's todays subject...Mums...or more specifically the way *everyone* talks to their mother :) this was inspired by going to see Craigs mum with him last night and marvelling at how mean he is to her :) and I noticed that everyone seems to do this with their poor old mum! I'm certainly no different.

You can always tell when i'm on the phone to my Mum for example...firstly the conversation will have been 30 times longer than was strictly necessary (does everyone's mum do this? mine certainly does...a conversation that, were it to take place with a friend, would be over within the space of a minute can drag on for an interminable length of time when your mum's talking!) and this will, of course, start to get on your nerves...so instead of giving genuine courteous answers you restrict yourself to 'yes', 'no' and 'mmm' in the vain hope that the old dear will get the hint...the maternal powers of perception, however, are not anything of note these days (were they ever?) so you have to up your rudeness a notch and start actually interrupting with curt 'yeah mum' or 'no mum' type replies...a hint of your dissatisfaction at the 2 hour phonecall about what you want for tea now begins to seep through...and she'll start going 'well, I can see you don't want to talk to your old mum anymore so I'll let you get back to whatever it was you were doing' only now she's said that you feel like a complete cunt! this is, after all, your mum we're talking about here...the person who's jointly responsible for your very presence here on Earth (the other party, of course, being your Dad...and do you talk to him in this tactless manner? well, no, obviously not...but then he doesn't waffle on for hours about the most insignificant details either!), the person who nurtured you, cared for you and was always there to look after you...and now a few years down the line here she is just trying to be nice and worrying about her firstborn son, and what does she get in return? impatient, snappy answers and general meanness :( ...what an ungrateful little shitbag you turned out to be eh?

So i'd just like to take this opportunity to:
1 - Apologise to my lovely mum for my occasional twatlike behaviour.
2 - Meekly suggest that phone conversations could possibly maybe be truncated *slightly*.
3 - Say thanks to both my lovely parents for the whole "sacrificing-your-entire-lives-for-my-ungrateful-mush" thing.
4 - Point out how great a son am I 'cos the other two shitbag siblings haven't said any of this have they ;) *arf!*

What a cunt I am eh ;)